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Saturday, May 31, 2008
Our Bodies Matter to Jesus
As some of you may imagine, one of the most frequent search engine terms that bring readers to my blog is the "sensuous"+"posted in blog". I clicked on this search this morning, and found a daisy chain of beautiful thoughts which I will share with you today.

The first link that caught my eye was "God's Sensuous Prescence". Y'all know, I am all about God and all about sensuous, so of course I was curious. This beautiful article is what I found:

"Men had turned from the contemplation of God above, and were looking Him in the opposite direction, down among created things and things of sense. The Saviour of us all, the Word of God, in His great love took to Himself a body and moved as Man among men, meeting their senses, so to speak, half way. He became Himself an object for the senses, so that those who were seeking God in sensible things might apprehend the Father through the works which He, the Word of God, did in the body."

At first glance this sounded at once beautiful and potentially sacreligious. Because when my woman-who-was-sexually-abused brain hears the words "an object for the senses", I recoil. But there was that beautiful phrase "in His great love took to Himself a body" and I believe that lock, stock and barrell, so I deliberately let go of my CSA thoughts and took another closer look. And what I saw astounded me with it's beauty.

I visualized my beloved Jesus extending his hand to Thomas, such a human loving inclusive gesture all by itself, and then he speaks "don't believe it's really me? Touch me. it's me, Thomas. Touch me, and remember all the many other times you touched my hand and were comforted. It's me. really. Touch me, and believe."

Of course, by then, poignant tears had gathered in my eyes and I was on board with the phrase "He became Himself an object for the senses." Oh yes he did. And there's my favorite name for Jesus too, Himself. A gift with purchase. Confirmation.

I wanted to hear more, so I clicked on the link provided by the blog author Eric Daryl Meyer (shown here with he and his wife. look at them! aren't they precious?)

This took me to Faith and Theology, a guest post by Oliver Davies. And what a treasure trove I found there!

Get a load of this!

"We constantly treat Christianity as though it were a philosophy or a work of literature (I am not against philosophy or literature) rather than a disclosure to practical intellect which calls us into the radical freedom of action in and for Christ in the world (i.e. the ascended, wounded and glorified Christ). Faith is faith in Christ who acts rather than thinks."

Seriously, y'all. I don't wanna just be smarter. I wanna be CHANGED.

Wait, there's more.

Instead of allowing ourselves to be opened up to the revelation of Christ in the world, communicated through command at work through the senses and the particularity of space and time events ("the command of grace", in Janz's phrase), we focus on the mind as the place of insight, generativity and meaning.

I'll tell you what this means to me. All my life, up until the point of my spiritual and sexual awakening, I thought it was true "Spirit good, mind good, body bad." I really did. As hard to believe as these words sound now, coming from from a woman who experiences God in every orgasm and feels the sweet nearness of the Spirit in every cool breeze on my sweaty face when I run, I used to really believe that. The condition of my heart, the condition of my marriage, the quality of how despised or cherished my sexuality was to me is a living lab test of what those ideas look like in behavior. When I believed my body was bad and my mind was good, I shrank from every touch from my husband and generally rolled my eyes at the depravity of man every time he got an erection. I'm not proud to admit it, but that was my reality. Oh but I was a good Christian girl who "selflessly ministered to her husband" by laying there and taking it. What a martyr! Not even good enough to be called a real martyr either, like Jim Elliot or the first disciple to be stoned to death, because I was laying down and dying for a cause that was contrary to scripture and so FAR from the life of joy God had called me to! What a senseless wasteful non-God-honoring martyr.

But you know my Jesus, he loves us just as we are and loves us too much to leave us that way. Read on.

"And here the third problem arises which follows from the first two: we have lost an understanding of the way we can and should access and be attentive to the presence of Christ in this way. We constantly bypass with mind the very place in which he is present for us in the here and now, which is to do with the senses and with command, since this is a place where the mind does not necessarily want to go."

Yes! Yes! Yes! I used to do that all the time, and folks, I'll tell you why. Because of my own sin and the sin of others, my senses were associated for me with sensations of pain, emotions of pain, shame, doubt, fear, self-loathing and just an overall sense of "ugh get me outta here". Maybe some of you can relate.

But here's the good part. Jesus still lives. And His Lordship in the nitty gritty details of our lives is the way we are to live not just as prescription (take 2 pills and call me in the morning) but as invitation. Invitation to the path to healing we are walk (come walk with me this way my darling and let me heal you, my love). That's my paraphrase and I paraphrase it that way because I have lived it that way. This is the path I've been walking for 16 years.

Oliver Davies puts it this way:

"Getting it" entails seeing that incarnational revelation still comes to us through the senses ("Jesus still lives, and his Lordship in the particularity of our lives is the mode for us of that life"), and that the senses cannot be absorbed without remainder into mind. Thus ascension allows that our faith in Christ can be far closer to that of the apostles than we might ordinarily admit, not on our own account, but on account of the nature of the transformation effected in Christ. Doctrinally (theologically) and anthropologically (philosophically) we have lost the tools and practices which help us to "recognise" him in his transformed state in the everyday reality of our lives where he comes to meet us.

As so often happens in my reading since the internet, I connected the dots between three unrelated poets and writers that from my point of view seem tailor made for each other. On one hand we have these brilliant intellectuals—theology professor no less!— saying in essence, "Excuse me, everybody. Something precious has been lost. And I'm going to do my darndest to show you what and how and show you why and more importantly, show you how to get it back."

For as I read the scholarly article, I remembered the last time—the only time—I've heard a scholar talk about these ideas. It was when I heard Christopher West speak about Theology of the Body at a Created and Redeemed Seminar. I remember Christopher's main point being "Jesus had a real body and our bodies are important because God Almighty thought to inhabit one so we should believe our body is important too and inhabit it well and with truth and honor." That is my paraphrase after attending the 7 hour seminar. (By the way, I do not believe that using birth control violates this cherished concept, since I believe any lovemaking between a husband and wife has the fruit of pleasure and oneness if not the fruit of children) So first as I'm reading, I'm reminded of Theology of the Body.

And then, I'm reminded of the song I sang in church last week. The song that so grounded me and comforted me by reminding me that every area of my life matters to God and is inhabited by God. The song that gave me opportunity to respond to this newfound hope and comfort by pouring our my adoration upon Jesus, or as we say in the South, "singin' my little heart out". Listen to this!

God in my living
There in my breathing
God in my waking
God in my sleeping

God in my resting
there in my working
God in my thinking
God in my speaking

be my everything
be my everything
be my everything

God in my hoping
there in my dreaming
God in my watching
God in my waiting

God in my laughing
there in my breathing
God in my hurting
God in my healing

be my everything
be my everything
be my everything
be my everything

Christ in me
Christ in me
Christ in me
the hope of glory
you are everything

Christ in me
Christ in me
Christ in me
the hope of glory
be my everything

be my everything
be my everything
be my everything

be my everything
be my everything
be my everything

God in my hoping
there in my dreaming
God in my watching
God in my waiting

God in my laughing
there in my breathing
God in my hurting
God in my healing

be my everything
be my everything
be my everything
you are everything

So yes, beloved friends, our bodies matter. They matter to Jesus too, as he—by living in us—inhabits our bodies every single day. And everything we do in these bodies matters very VERY much! If it's sin that we're doing with our bodies—slapping our children, abandoning our husbands in the marriage bed, or using drugs or food or the absence of food to numb our aching hearts— we need grace and healing to get to the root of that sin and let Jesus heal us. And if it's not sin that we're doing with our bodies—laying our cool hand on our child's fevered brow, welcoming our husbands and drawing them into our body with passion and tenderness, or caring for and cherishing our bodies in beautiful small ways like eating with gratitude in an attitude of self-care—then we are in the acts of doing these very things, bringing the hands and love of Christ into our world, which is a humbling, immensely gorgeous thing to think about.

Isn't it?

Love,
SW


Epilogue:
Parenting
Once in the course of my life as a mother I lost my temper and slapped one of my children. It was listed as a sin in the article and also listed as a sin I am living in active repentance of. I don't refuse my husband anymore or do emotional eating anymore either. I don't believe there's a mother alive that hasn't lost her temper and slapped her child once or been sorely tempted to do so. But my experience of losing my temper like that disturbed me enough that I took myself to a licensed marriage and family therapist and learned some better parenting strategies. I also took my child to a child therapist and got some treatment for them and we're all doing much better on that regard. The licensed marriage and family therapist who treated me counseled me that my unresolved guilt over slapping my child that one time was far harmful to my effectiveness as a parent than the slap itself because that guilt gave me a propensity to cave into their demands and not keep firm loving boundaries. I hope any parent who reads my story will not hesitate to seek wise counsel for their parenting challenges.

Singles
I want to cherish my single readers by saying that there are many beautiful ways use use our bodies to bring the hands and love of Christ into our world, many many more than the 3 ways I listed. The reason that drove what I listed as ways to bring love is that I began with listing 3 ways I personally used my body to sin and 3 ways I used my body to repent and to love. You're not excluded, beloved darlings, or exempt from embodying the love of Christ just because you are not a wife or mommy. Never meant to imply that, beloved. Not in a hundred years did I mean to imply that. (squeeze your hand and look you in the eye for good measure) Love, SW

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posted by Sensuous Wife at 8:52 AM ¤ Permalink ¤ 7 comments
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Getting What They Want: Women as Customers in the International Sex Trade
In recent years numerous organizations have worked to call attention to the abuses of the international sex trade. Of particular interest issex tourism, in which individuals from wealthy countries travel to third world nations with the explicit intention of patronizing prostitutes while there. In some cases, there are special travel companies and resorts that specifically cater to sex tourists.

While much has been made of the fact that many men (and sometimes male/female couples) take advantage of sex tourism, this article shows that when it comes to the exploitation of vulnerable cultures and people, women are more than capable of holding their own. While I've been crowing for years that church and society need to regard women as sexual (not just emotional) beings with needs and desires of their own, this article demonstrates the failures of laissez-faire sexual ethics along with the fallenness of our sexuality. The willingness to use the other for our gratification is not something that is limited, or excluded, by gender.

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posted by Lainie Petersen at 10:28 AM ¤ Permalink ¤ 3 comments
Monday, October 15, 2007
The Abortionist's Wife
I wrote a piece called The Abortionist's Wife which can be viewed at the theooze
The article was on quirkygrace for a little while, but I accidentally deleted it and then Lydia asked if she could post the piece on the ooze, so that's where it ended up :) I wrote the piece following a pizza party at the home of one of David's med school professors, who performs late term abortions, as well as many lifesaving procedures for mothers and developing children. Let me know what you think.

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posted by Jemila Kwon at 10:10 PM ¤ Permalink ¤ 1 comments
Friday, June 15, 2007
Introduction to Sensuous Wife
Please hear my delight! So glad to be here in this company of women. I'll say a bit to introduce myself. Hi, I'm Sensuous Wife. I started my blog sensuouswife.blogspot.com because I needed a place to put some stuff while it was fresh from my heart and without everything I write having to wait ages for the whole query letter>agent>book deal process. That waiting game has been a real character-builder lemme tell you! I just wanted to get some of my stuff OUT THERE for my own emotional health (can you say need an outlet?) and because I sincerely believe that what Jesus has done in my life is good and that other women could be encouraged by my journey. What I didn't anticipate was this. I thought I was starting this blog to help uptight Christian girls like me to loosen up and enjoy their husbands. And I think that is happening. What I didn't anticipate was God giving me opportunities to befriend women who are expressing their sexuality online in a way that makes me feel uncomfortable. There are so many refused spouses displaying their nude womanhood online hoping someone will find them appealing. Jesus allowed me to see the invisible sign hanging around everyone's neck that says "validate me" and my heart just broke. Because there but for the grace of God go I. And I remembered something I heard in a sermon yeaarrrs ago which was "evangelism is like one homeless person telling another homeless person where to get a good meal" So I've been befriending women and being overwhelmed again with gratitude for all God has brought me out of. And I don't believe I'm the only woman whose heart and sexuality Jesus wants to heal. Do you?

So here's the emerging part. The more healed and free and happy and alive I got over the course of years, the less welcome I felt at my church. Marginalized, patronized, benched, whatever you want to call it. Which just boggled my mind. Like why would they want to hide or silence Exhibit G of the grace of God triumphing over so much abuse and pain? So we left. Delighted Husband and I are a few weeks in to our search for a new church home. And we're really asking God to lead us because we (my Delighted Husband and I) so want to offer our hearts to love others and offer what Jesus has done in our own lives and our marriage, and we also really want to be fed relevant teaching and be able to lose ourself in worship. Tall order? I know. But we think it's worth waiting for. So yeah, I'm emerging. :) So I tap tap tapped on the window, and Julie smiled and welcomed me in. So hi everybody! -SW

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posted by Sensuous Wife at 3:30 PM ¤ Permalink ¤ 14 comments
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Hot Off the Press
This just in from Erin Word (aka Lily) and Pam Hogeweide ... an opportunity to write about our experiences as women for women and men. It's short notice, but this looks like a great time to pull something out that we may done previously and give it a new shine. ~ Sonja ~

Women are emerging from the shadows of ministry, busting through the stained-glass ceiling and taking a sledgehammer to old stereotypes. Here's a chance for you to have a voice - would you like to be heard?


Hi, I'm Erin Word (you might know me as Lily), and I have a blog called Decompressing Faith. Let me introduce you to my friend Pam Hogeweide, who writes for Off-The-Map and has a blog called How God Messed Up My Religion. We are the June, 2007 guest editors for The Porpoise Diving Life, a widely read ezine which focuses on issues of church and faith.

Our theme for this issue: "Progress: Faith in a Dress"

Deadline: This project landed in our laps on Friday, May 18th, and all submissions must reach us by midnight pacific time Monday, May 28 for consideration. A tight deadline, but let's go for it!

What we are looking for: Submissions from emerging and missional Christian women. Free, out-of-the-box thinkers. Alternative expressions of faith. Wild and crazy, postmodern approaches to theology. Church misfits. Women on the edge. Stained-glass-ceiling rule-breakers. Diverse perspectives are entirely welcome! If you identify with any of those statements, we want to hear from you! Poetry, prose, fiction...you name it, we'll read it. We also are looking for book and music reviews, if that is more your style.

Anything you submit must be your own original work: It may have been published elsewhere (like on your blog, for instance) and we will still consider it, as long as it is not under copyright. There are no strict word-count parameters; we are aiming for a maximum of 1000 words. We also ask that all submissions be written by women and in English.

Here are some ideas to start with: these are not meant to be strictly adhered to, only to help get you thinking - any other ideas you have are quite welcome. Also, some of the questions refer to your "ministry". The word "ministry" here is whatever it means to you: your home, your family and friends, your workplace, your neighborhood, your church, the homeless, pagans, minorities, foreigners...however you see it to be in your life.
  • Can women lead men?
  • Are women effective leaders and thinkers in the body of Christ?
  • What is the place for social minorities in Christianity?
  • What does emerging or missional work look like in your life?
  • How do you see gender equality in matters of faith?
  • What do you see as the primary role of the Church?
  • What do you think are the biggest misconceptions about women in ministry?
  • What are the greatest gifts women bring to ministry?
  • Who are some of your emerging/missional women heroes?
  • How do you perceive your mission field and how do you reach it?
  • What have some of your struggles been as a woman of faith?
  • How do you see women in ministry changing over the next 25 years?
  • How has your expression of or role in the church changed or grown in the last 5 years?
  • How has your theology changed in the last 5 years?
  • How has your theology changed in the last 5 years?
Please include with each submission: the title of your submission as you would like it to appear, your full name, e-mail address, and blog or website url (if applicable). Please also indicate to us if you would like your e-mail address and/or url to be published with your submission. This is an opt-in only: if you don't specifically tell us to include your e-mail or url in the publication, we won't.

One more thing: we are compiling a list of books, blogs and resources which support the concept of gender equality and in support of women in all levels of Christian leadership and ministry. If you have any ideas, be sure to pass them along!


Pam Hogeweide
Erin Word

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posted by Sonja Andrews at 12:28 PM ¤ Permalink ¤ 4 comments
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Sex God By Rob Bell
Book Discussion

Rob Bell takes a holistic view of sexuality, understanding it primarily as the longing and expression of connection, rather than merely physical sexual drives and acts. He writes:" Our sexuality is all of the ways we strive for connection with our world, with each other, and with God" (p 42) Seeing marriage as a beautiful and healthy, but temporary and unnecessary manifestation of this connection and a special picture the ultimate union between people and God, Bell emphasizes the importance of regarding whole persons, both with their spiritual and physical dimensions with respect and value as precious human beings worth dying; persons we need to honor with self-giving love rather than degrading with self-gratifying, anti-human consumption. There are so many places we can take this discussion, and I hope the conversation opens up into many areas. Here are a few quotes and questions to kick us off.

1. Rob quotes his wife's definition of sexy as this: "Sexy is when it feels good to be in your own skin. Your body feels right. It feels comfortable. Sexy is when you love being you." (p 46)

What is your reaction to this definition? How is it different than the beliefs about "sexy" you grew up with? How is it different from what our culture conveys about being sexy?

2. On page 76, Bell writes, "Addictions rob people of their appreciation of things." How have you experienced this phenomenon in your own life? What is your current relationship with addiction?

3. On page 79 Bell has an excellent list of questions to ask oneself in the face of temptation. Choose an area of temptation, or addiction and apply this list to yourself, inviting God into the journey. If you feel comfortable, share your experience of the process.

4. Bell notes the source of lust as a lack of gratitude and contentment leading to the lie that, "If I just..." Bell goes on, "The 'if' means we have become attached to the idea that we are missing something and that we can be satisfied by whatever it is we have in our sights. There's a hole, a space, a gap, and we're on the search. And we may not even realize it. When we are in the right place, the right space -- content and at peace -- we aren't on the search, and our radar gets turned off." (p 73)

How can we cultivate contentment, joy and peace in our lives just as they are? How can believers help on another let go of comparing and and start loving and enjoying the lives and gifts we have?

5. Rob often applies gender stereotypes to the book, titled one chapter, "She ran to the bathroom," and referring repeatedly to "She's worth dying for," or presuming the reader is a female, as in, "But you don't have to give yourself away to earn a man's love" (P 124) in the chapter titled, "worth dying for." Bell's understanding of marriage as complementarian/egalitarian also seems a little fuzzy. Did you think Bell came across as sexist or right on?

6. Bell stresses that one can be celibate and be a deeply sexual person, practicing, "universal love," (p 45) and that if anything, Jesus tilt is for being single over being married (p 164) How do you feel about single people (yourself included if applicable)?

7. On page 167 Bell asks, "What happens when everything we need from each other we have in God? What happens in the presence of God when we are everything we were originally created to be?"

What are your thoughts on these questions in light of passages in genesis that state that "male and female he made them in his image" and "it was not good that man was alone" even before there was a rupture in God-human relationship in the biblical narrative?

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posted by Jemila Kwon at 10:03 AM ¤ Permalink ¤ 19 comments