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Friday, June 15, 2007
Introduction to Sensuous Wife
Please hear my delight! So glad to be here in this company of women. I'll say a bit to introduce myself. Hi, I'm Sensuous Wife. I started my blog sensuouswife.blogspot.com because I needed a place to put some stuff while it was fresh from my heart and without everything I write having to wait ages for the whole query letter>agent>book deal process. That waiting game has been a real character-builder lemme tell you! I just wanted to get some of my stuff OUT THERE for my own emotional health (can you say need an outlet?) and because I sincerely believe that what Jesus has done in my life is good and that other women could be encouraged by my journey. What I didn't anticipate was this. I thought I was starting this blog to help uptight Christian girls like me to loosen up and enjoy their husbands. And I think that is happening. What I didn't anticipate was God giving me opportunities to befriend women who are expressing their sexuality online in a way that makes me feel uncomfortable. There are so many refused spouses displaying their nude womanhood online hoping someone will find them appealing. Jesus allowed me to see the invisible sign hanging around everyone's neck that says "validate me" and my heart just broke. Because there but for the grace of God go I. And I remembered something I heard in a sermon yeaarrrs ago which was "evangelism is like one homeless person telling another homeless person where to get a good meal" So I've been befriending women and being overwhelmed again with gratitude for all God has brought me out of. And I don't believe I'm the only woman whose heart and sexuality Jesus wants to heal. Do you?

So here's the emerging part. The more healed and free and happy and alive I got over the course of years, the less welcome I felt at my church. Marginalized, patronized, benched, whatever you want to call it. Which just boggled my mind. Like why would they want to hide or silence Exhibit G of the grace of God triumphing over so much abuse and pain? So we left. Delighted Husband and I are a few weeks in to our search for a new church home. And we're really asking God to lead us because we (my Delighted Husband and I) so want to offer our hearts to love others and offer what Jesus has done in our own lives and our marriage, and we also really want to be fed relevant teaching and be able to lose ourself in worship. Tall order? I know. But we think it's worth waiting for. So yeah, I'm emerging. :) So I tap tap tapped on the window, and Julie smiled and welcomed me in. So hi everybody! -SW

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posted by Sensuous Wife at 3:30 PM ¤ Permalink ¤


  • At 6/15/2007 05:35:00 PM, Anonymous chill24

    you should read the book "sheet music" by kevin lehman if you haven't already (play on the word sheet).
    it's a great book on sex (and a little more) for married couples!

  • At 6/16/2007 04:07:00 AM, Blogger Jemila Monroe

    Hey SW, glad you're here. Looking forward to participating in discussions with you. Good luck in your church hunt -- may you find what you want and need.

  • At 6/16/2007 05:21:00 AM, Blogger Irim

    I'm reading it now and loving every minute of it. Having grown up as a Muslim and then converted to Catholicism (long story), my sensuous side feels like it has been tamped down for a long time. I always got sensible clothes, lingerie, etc.

    My hedonist comes out occasionally, but usually, I'm too busy being sensible or self-improving. Reading this is like finding a kindred spirit. It's like having permission. Thank you.

    As for lingerie, over here in the UK, I'm a huge bravissimo fan:


    And I've found exactly the same at church - the more I've come into myself, the less welcome I've felt. What was once a comfortable home became a prison.

    A gilded birdcage may be large and beautiful, but it's still a cage.

    Good luck with the church hunt, my friend, and welcome aboard.

    Keep up the great work!


  • At 6/16/2007 09:40:00 AM, Blogger Michele L

    Welcome. I look forward to what you contribute. I think that has been a great journey...with hopefully much more to come!

  • At 6/16/2007 01:04:00 PM, Blogger Lydia

    Welcome, SW.

    I thought I was starting this blog to help uptight Christian girls like me to loosen up and enjoy their husbands

    Do you visit http://themarriagebed.com/?

    It is not an Emerging/Emergent site, but it is a good place to go to talk honestly with other Christians about sex within marriage (if one is willing and able to look past certain attitudes and beliefs on it...Julie, you probably shouldn't read this site. It will just annoy you :P.)

  • At 6/16/2007 05:57:00 PM, Blogger Sensuous Wife

    Y'all I am squealing like a little girl reading your comments. I don't know a word that describes a superlative experience of fun and affirmation but whatever it is, insert that word here! :)

    Chill24, I love that book Sheet Music and thank you for recommending it. I added it to the book list on my blog. I bought that book a couple years ago as an ebook from amazon and it quit working a few months ago so I may have to buy it again in paperback since amazon doesn't "do" ebooks anymore. But it was worth it to have a great book on married sex on my pocketpc to read while I encountered unavoidable delay like having my car in the shop for service. ;)

    Speaking of car service reminds me of a hilarious comment I read on themarriagebed.com. Ladies were talking about how to communicate to their husband they were ready for some LM and one lady said 'maybe we should use car language to get through to the guy and wear a button that says SERVICE ENGINE SOON' ROFL :P So yes, Lydia, I read TMB. Another great recommendation so thank you. There's a wide range of POV there but to be able to talk about sex and intimacy from a Christian perspective with active moderators and people who really care about each other is a good thing.

    Thank you Jemila. I'm glad I'm here too (like the squealing didn't already give that away!) :)

    irim, I think I squealed the loudest over your comment. Everyone wants to feel that their heart matters, and that when they offer their heart to someone that it matters. I'm no exception. So to know that the way I shared my heart on my blog gave you a sense of kindred spirit and persmission to enjoy the sensousness God gave you....well that is just awesome. And the fact that Jesus in my heart encouraged you when you're so far away from me geographically in another nation another culture...now that is cause for celebration indeed. Hence my squealing. :) oh and thanks for the lingerie link referral. I'll have to post it.

    Michele you have such a lovely smile. Thank you for affirming my journey. and more to come? Yes!

    (big smile)SW

  • At 6/16/2007 08:30:00 PM, Blogger Linda


    You sound like an intriguing person, and I look forward to interacting with you.

  • At 6/17/2007 05:10:00 PM, Blogger Amy

    Hi, SW. I'm glad you've come along for the journey. You sound like a lot of fun, so I can't wait to hear more from you!

  • At 6/18/2007 12:26:00 AM, Blogger Michele L


    Thanks for the nice comment! I love pictures...I wish I could see more pic's of everyone. I know being the internet and all, people aren't comfortable. I like having a face to go with the personality! ;)

  • At 6/18/2007 10:30:00 AM, Blogger Sensuous Wife

    Intriguing...a lot of fun....someone worth looking forward to interacting with. Whoa, God is really generous toward my heart today and he used you linda and amy to do that. Thank you. I really needed that affirmation. The church search and going weeks without "latching on" is getting old and last night and this morning my heart really felt weary and lonely. I'm learning alot during this time of hunger, because I no longer feel like if I were really "spiritually mature" I would get everything I need from my time of personal worship and prayer and would quit needing people. Nope. I'm an offspring of the Trinity and the Trinity is in constant loving relationship with each other. So my desire to connect with and interact with other believers is not some weakness to be overcome it's my spiritual family resemblance showing! I think I feel a blog article coming on....
    oh and michele, at least you know what my hair color is. That's as much photo as my DH and I felt okay with posting for now. :)SW

  • At 6/18/2007 04:27:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous

    Don't know where you are in the country (or out of it) but we'd love to have you in our church!

  • At 6/18/2007 08:39:00 PM, Blogger Jemila Monroe

    Yeah, let's all get together and start an EW church. Men can join too :)

  • At 6/19/2007 02:42:00 PM, Anonymous chill24

    i'm in on the church. although i love the community my husband and i are now involved in - i pray the community feeling for all of us. God did not make us to be alone but to worship, love and grow together!!
    if you don't find this physically you've got all us bloggers with the same heart!

  • At 6/19/2007 04:21:00 PM, Blogger Sensuous Wife

    thank you elane. alas, california's not close.

    jemila, that would be a happenin' church! :)

    chill, your last sentence
    made. me. cry.

    Bless you all, SW


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