Tiffany, I totally get your feelings about your non-Christian friends. My husband and I avoided becoming too involved in our church for years because of what we had viewed many years within my "Christian" family and in "Christian" community. My mother prayed for years that we would find "good Christian friends". Well, I think that her prayers are being answered. She doesn't realize, though, that within that those "Christian friends" and even myself, are many differing views, thoughts etc. and we probably don't fall within the mold she would like. I still think and know we are one within Christ, but I would say I am probably more generous in respecting her views and Gods work through her, than she may believe of me. Case in point, this topic again. This blog and friends from church are much more aware of my thoughts and beliefs, wonders and questions, than people who should be close in my life. I have not revealed too much, because I don't want to fight, defend, argue anymore. Discussion yes!
As for "rocking the boat", Christian community would not be what it is with out those who "rock the boat". We forget how much rocking the boat has occurred for centuries. I see cycles. It probably won't end here with us either. Our part of it will spur on future growth, learning, and leaning.
I think one of the most dangerous views held (indirectly) within Christian communities, is that we can "tell when/where God is working". We think it looks certain ways, feels certain ways, and if something doesn't fit, it can't be God! Why not!? God is beyond anything we will ever know! God can move, work, bless, give Grace, love anyway God pleases!