Emerging Women

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

I Don't Get It

So I've been posting at a postmodern, christian website for several years now. I've had this problem before and brought it up to the rest of the group, but nothing seems to be changing. This is what happens (from my point of view):

I bring up idea X.
No one comments on it.
A page or two later a male poster brings up idea X.
Several people comment on what a good idea it is.

At first I thought it was my communication style - maybe I wasn't being clear enough, or maybe there was something in the way I worded it that detracted from my message.

So I worked harder to clearly convey my point. I reread my posts, looking for words or phrases that might be clouding the issue. It doesn't seem to be making a difference.

Does this happen to anyone else? Short of assuming a male identity online, how can I stop this?

posted by Lydia at 12:00 PM

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8 Comments:

At 6/21/2006 02:57:00 PM, Julie

or quote your old posts and accuse the man of stealing your idea. that could be fun ;)

and yes i know exactly what you mean
At 6/21/2006 06:47:00 PM, Unknown

I would be curious about "testing it". I think it is just a long held bias. Women have come a long way, but I think that there is still, for whatever reason, a great stereotype that men have more knowledge, can speak better, whatever. Unfortunately, I think that these responses many times happen at a subconcious level. I know when I was studying for my BA there was a class that tested our stereotyping. I was appalled at my own responses. I think these things lurk in our heads. I will say though, once I was "made" aware, I was "more" aware of my own thinking.
At 6/21/2006 07:06:00 PM, CSDL

lydia,
i see this sort of stuff happen to women in technology all the time, its crazy.

The first thing i would ask is how does your style differ from his? Is he excited and convinced his idea is great while you are reserved and unsure? Those sorts of things can really come out in your post.

Next time, try posting as if your idea is be best thing since sliced bread and see if you get a better reply

but also ditto to julie on calling people out on it :-)
At 6/21/2006 07:43:00 PM, Lydia

It would be kind of interesting to see what would happen if you did post as a man...

I've been sorely tempted to try this, Sylvia. :)
At 6/21/2006 07:45:00 PM, Lydia

Good idea, Julie. I'll do that the next time it happens. I thought it was going to happen today, but so far so good. Someone else did mention my "idea x," but no one's responded to him.
At 6/21/2006 07:47:00 PM, Lydia

The first thing i would ask is how does your style differ from his? Is he excited and convinced his idea is great while you are reserved and unsure?

Great question.

I reread my post, and it sounds pretty matter of fact to me. Not reserved, but not hyper either. I'm not the sort of person who gets overly excited about very many things.

Although maybe I should try it next time?
At 6/25/2006 09:07:00 PM, Don't I Know You?

once (uh, maybe more than once?) when i was cruisin the ooze as a male, i forgot myself and posted.

the guys didn't even say "welcome" and the women were totally out of this particular conversay so there wasnt' the usual gush of warm-fuzzies.

this is a bit off from what you are saying, lydia, but i think sometimes that people get so wrapped up in being the group that they don't even hear voices outside the ones they are attuned to hearing.
At 6/27/2006 06:31:00 AM, Lydia

I think sometimes that people get so wrapped up in being the group that they don't even hear voices outside the ones they are attuned to hearing.

Thanks for your wisdom, Wilsford. Why do you think this happens?

And Caroline et al, I am still thinking about posting as a man at a few places.

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