Personal response/responsibility for/to the inevitability of human sin/imperfection/pain
What do you do when you hurt someone you love and you couldn't help it -- even tried to avoid it -- but your own brokeness/issues got in the way? Or Someone who loves you causes you immense pain and couldn't help it -- even tried to do better for you than their parents or past lovers etc? Or when you and your spouse cause each other pain simply because you're both over tired, with different personalities that understand and respond to stress or circumstance in conflicting ways? What do you do when you or another person is the source of a human being's pain and in one sense it's not your fault. It's not their fault.
Where does personal responsibility come in under these circumstances, which I think apply to most of human sin/imperfection/pain? What does it look like to confess? When/should/how do we take personal responsibility for that which we couldn't help given our understandings/circumstances/baggage/hardwiring? What does it mean to forgive someone who couldn't help it? Can we still hold them responsible and forgive them? Or do we simply have to understand and accept them?