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Saturday, November 04, 2006
Prayers Needed
Hi guys, this is more of a personal post. I'm going through a really rough time with issues related my mom, who I have forgiven more than 77 X 7 and yet despite her insistence to the contrary, she remains unable to be faithful her commitments to me, including the ones that really wound my heart. And it's not even so much that I'm having trouble forgiving her -- I know she can't help it and doesn't mean to hurt me -- but it DOES hurt so acutely, and I don't know what to do to both love my mother and safeguard my heart wisely so that I am not so preoccupide with fresh wounds peeling off old scars that I am impared in my own ability to mother, be present and savor the gifts of God. Please pray for me. Thanks so much!

Blessings,
Jemila

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posted by Jemila Kwon at 7:03 PM ¤ Permalink ¤


8 Comments:


  • At 11/04/2006 07:26:00 PM, Blogger Sarcastic Lutheran

    I feel you. AT 37 my mom can still hurt me so much, even though our relationship is better than in previous stages of my life. My husband alwys has to remind me that she is in all likelyhood not going to change and that as long as I continue wanting/expecting her to I will be miserable and she will still not have changed. Easier said than done.
    God be with you.
    Protect yourself for awhile and get some distance, is that an option for you?

     

  • At 11/04/2006 08:30:00 PM, Blogger Amy

    Jemila,

    I know that a relationship with a mom is so important, intricate and complex. I will pray with you and for you...for wisdom, strength and peace.

    Amy

     

  • At 11/04/2006 09:01:00 PM, Blogger Jemila Kwon

    Thanks guys, I really appreciate the prayers and support!

     

  • At 11/04/2006 09:21:00 PM, Blogger Lydia

    Praying for you.

    I've had/am having similar struggles with some of my grandparents (which isn't the same thing, I know...but I thought it might help you to know that there are many, many families out there with similar struggles).

     

  • At 11/05/2006 12:37:00 AM, Blogger The Vicar of Hogsmeade

    I have a mom like that too. A good therapist is a good idea. God works through good therapists.

     

  • At 11/05/2006 07:53:00 AM, Blogger Unknown

    Jemila,
    Will be praying for you. I like others, am working through some familial issues myself. I am stronger now than ever, but I still have moments that creep back, and hurt that shows up. May you find some Peace soon. Michele

     

  • At 11/07/2006 02:06:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous

    Does your mother have Borderline Personality Disorder? I don't know you or your situation but if this is the case, a book called Understanding the Borderline Mother changed my life.

    Peace

     

  • At 11/07/2006 09:53:00 PM, Blogger Jemila Kwon

    Yes, actually my mom has many traits of borderline, though not an official diagonises that I am aware of, anyway. I read walking on egg shells a while ago, was interesting, but difficult in terms of implementing in a mother-daughter relationship. I guess it's just so hard to give up on the expectation/need for her to be able to be emotionally dependable and keep her promises/not flip out etc, and yet her doing her best is still her pretty much following whatever impulses she feels, which may lead her to great generosity or disregard for someone's boundaries or even visciousness and manipulation; basically she loves me but she is unable to be an adult in the relationship.

     
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