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Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Money & Marriage
Recently Tammy (my mom) said this at on a thread at The Ooze where we were talking about how we do (or don't ;) ) trust God when problems pop up in a marriage:


one person said that a friend told them there's 2 ways to handle money in a marriage -

1. separate accounts, with each one having separate control of their own money

2. a joint account, with one partner handling the budget and the other not acting like a child when the limits of the budget collide with what they want to do


I've only been married 18 months, but Drew and I don't do either of those things. We set our budget & make financial decisions together. We often disagree, but we do talk it out before making most financial decisions.

I'd be curious to hear how things work in your home - do you think most couples eventually settle into one of the two patterns listed above?

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posted by Lydia at 8:29 AM ¤ Permalink ¤


6 Comments:


  • At 11/15/2006 11:09:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous

    Money is stressful. I have been married 2 years in January and we have just in the past week decided that we were going to try to do our finances together. I have predominantly been the one who has done the finances; it hasn’t been because I wanted too, but Stephanie didn’t want anything to do with dealing with the monies. Stephanie realized that it was too much of a burden for me to take on alone so after a long discussion we are now going to try to do it together. I think it works different with every couple. As long as it is mutually agreed upon find a system that works for you both.

     

  • At 11/15/2006 11:39:00 AM, Blogger Amy

    My husband and I have been married for 8 years. We started out doing finances together, but three kids later, it's difficult to manage the time, together, to get it done. So, we try to pass it back and forth. One does it for 6-12 months and then the other takes over. Major decisions are all made together through discussion, with give and take on both sides.

    We're not always on the same page, but have and are learning to work together in this area. It's funny how passing the responsibility back and forth keeps up communication and makes us each more aware of each other and how we're spending money. It works for us.

     

  • At 11/15/2006 11:47:00 AM, Blogger Jemila Kwon

    We put as much stuff as possible on automatic withdrawl and then usually David pays the other bills, but if he gets too busy or burnt out, I take a turn. We pretty much share the same values overall and are both bargain shoppers, so we trust each other with petty spending and discuss major purchases together.

     

  • At 11/15/2006 01:22:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous

    I'm an old married woman who does bills a la Amy. I am currently the banker and my husband doesn't have to think about it. He's been the banker in past years.

    We keep most $ together and have some for personal things (gifts for each other for example.) My husband is a child who tries to find out what he's getting for Christmas by scanning through assorted statements. So I have my own $ to fake him out at Christmas, mostly. (Now if I could just keep him from searching the closets . . .)

     

  • At 11/15/2006 09:43:00 PM, Blogger Julie

    I hate paying bills and doing paperwork. It was my responsibility for the first year of our marriage and I sucked at it. So eventually Mike just started doing it. No discussion really, he just took over and that is more than fine by me. All of our money was dumped together (well when I was actually making money...) It honestly has never been an issue issue.

     

  • At 11/15/2006 11:11:00 PM, Blogger Makeesha

    in short? no, it doesn't have to fall into one of those 2 categories. Also, I don't think money has to be a stresser in a marriage.

    We work together to create and revise our budget on a regular basis. We decide together where the giving goes. We decide together any major expenses. We never have disagreements or arguments about someone spending too much on any one thing because we don't make selfish spending decisions.

    As for bills, those are pretty set in stone. the due dates are on our family calendar and whoever pays them tells the other person.

    I agree with Amy, we kind of switch off with who has the MOST responsibility from anywhere between 6-12 mo. but always work together.

    We've been married almost 8 years and have 2 kids.

     
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