Emerging Women

Friday, August 17, 2007

Finding Peace and Joy

I just got accepted into grad school and am so excited, but there is so much termoil going on in my heart and in my life that it is hard not to be angry with God. I know he can handle my anger, my fears and my worries, but somehow I just want him to tell me why things have to be so hard. So hard for my family, so hard for our finances, so hard to breath sometimes. God is not a genie, but sometimes, I wish he would just cross his arms, blink and things would be all better with a written explanation as to why they were hard in the first place. I know I cannot be alone. I pray and pray for the joy and peace to make it through the day, not just to make it, but flourish. Can joy and peace be found or is it something we acquire through the years? I long for it so much that I feel an ache deep within my heart that somehow I missed the seminar on it and no one is selling the book. How do you find peace through the tears, the pain, the heartache? How does joy stay even when happiness leave?

Labels: Spiritual Formation

posted by pinkcounselor at 10:35 PM

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6 Comments:

At 8/18/2007 09:41:00 AM, One Voice of Many

Those are very good questions. I completely identify with your joys and yet lack of joy and all the reasons for both.
I don't have any answers though. Maybe someone else here might?

Michelle K
At 8/18/2007 10:06:00 AM, LAUREN at Faith Fuel

"I missed the seminar on it and no one is selling the book" of how to find joy and peace!- love your honesty. If the book was written, no one would want to buy it. People who find joy and peace in perfect circumstances have nothing to share with us except the hope of being one of those "lucky" ones. But people who find joy and peace in the midst of trials and pain, well...their story scares us. It is not what we want to hear.

I just finished reading When I Lay My Isaac Down by Carol Kent. Now this is a gripping story of a couple who find God's joy and peace- but they still have ongoing pain and challenges in their life.

Ironically, this book encouraged me. It's real and it's an accurate picture of the awkward Christian life we live. Often we are spared the sword, but many are sawn in two- as Hebrews 11 shares.

But there IS a victory this side of heaven- "God WITH us" and it's a hope and a glory that is powerful in our midst.
At 8/18/2007 10:32:00 AM, Unknown

Congrats on grad school! I am still waiting to find out!

As for your questions, I too don't know if I have answers for you. I think life can be very hard and unexplainable.

My personal feelings are that in many beliefs the idea is "just pray", "lean on the Lord", "ask and you will receive", etc. We are almost conditioned that we need to pray harder, have more faith, and God will take care of all our problems. I don't feel it works that way. I believe we have minds, resources, etc. and sometimes we need to help ourselves. I think we certainly can hope and pray, but the problem for me is when life doesn't change and someone thinks that they must not be in God's favor, praying hard enough, having enough faith etc. I don't believe God sits there "choosing" who deserves help and letting others suffer.

I think we sometimes have to look for joy in the smallest places. That is not always easy. Sometimes it is just changing something around us to find a moment of peace. For me, life seems to deal interesting combinations. When one thing in my life is really frustrating I find that another part of my life is really good. I try to focus on the good part and try to let it bleed into the other part.

Just my two cents, good luck, and I do hope you can find some peace.
At 8/18/2007 12:18:00 PM, Lydia

I think we sometimes have to look for joy in the smallest places.

This has worked for me. As has focusing on helping others - it's amazing how much joy and peace can be found in the things one does for others.

(I'm assuming that we're not talking about clinical depression here...that's another ball of wax. :) )
At 8/18/2007 01:20:00 PM, Linda

Might I encourage you to read a book? It IS NOT a self-help book or how-to manual. The book is called Sensual Orthodoxy and is a collection of sermons by Debbie Blue, a pastor at the House of Mercy in Saint Paul, MN. It is not a typical book of sermons with bullet points and alliterated key words. It is largely a book of stories around gospel passages, all of which are earthy and sensual (as in one's senses, not smut). There is a particular sermon called "Sleeping God" that has been especially meaningful to me as I have faced hard times. The whole book helped me see God in different ways than my very conservative background ever allowed. Anyway, I found it helpful in my pain and hope that others will, too.
At 8/18/2007 01:58:00 PM, Anonymous

So many good thoughts...
Here's my 2 cents worth.
When my life blew up, and nothing made sense anymore...I kept picturing myself crawling into Father's lap. And plunging (picture Nestea commercial) into a sea of love.
It sounds kinda hinky, but somehow God met me there. Circumstances didn't change, at least not right away...but I had enough peace to sleep, and that was huge.
And, God will change circumstances, but rarely is it immediate. There is so much gained in the struggle, that later you'll be glad you perservered...hard to think about when you are in the midst of it though.
Peace to you.

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