I just got accepted into grad school and am so excited, but there is so much termoil going on in my heart and in my life that it is hard not to be angry with God. I know he can handle my anger, my fears and my worries, but somehow I just want him to tell me why things have to be so hard. So hard for my family, so hard for our finances, so hard to breath sometimes. God is not a genie, but sometimes, I wish he would just cross his arms, blink and things would be all better with a written explanation as to why they were hard in the first place. I know I cannot be alone. I pray and pray for the joy and peace to make it through the day, not just to make it, but flourish. Can joy and peace be found or is it something we acquire through the years? I long for it so much that I feel an ache deep within my heart that somehow I missed the seminar on it and no one is selling the book. How do you find peace through the tears, the pain, the heartache? How does joy stay even when happiness leave?
Labels: Spiritual Formation